Tomorrow is our kiddos 3rd birthdays. Twins. “Double blessings.” “Twice the work.” “Double Trouble.” “Two for the price of one.” “They don’t look like twins!” “Are they identical?” “You sure have your hands full!”…”Glad its’ you not me.” All of those I’ve heard over the past three years…and then there’s the other remarks that any parent gets, no matter how many kids you have: “You’ll never sleep again.” “Just wait til they’re 3/12/15/18/parents” “Enjoy every minute” “I hated that age” “I loved that age!” “They look nothing like you.” “Are you their mom?” “You’re too young for kids.” It’s true, having kids is like being on a roller coaster. You’re up. You’re down. You’re sick. You’re excited. You’re terrified, afraid you’re falling off. You get used to one direction and think, “yeah, I totally got this!” Then suddenly without warning, the direction changes and you’re upside down. Now I know I’ve only been a parent for 3 years (and really, Nathan and I think for the first 9 months or so, you’re really just a couple of unpaid babysitters…there’s really not much “parenting” until 9mo-1 year of age. Then the game changes.) but I know for me typically when I get off of a roller coaster I say “that was fun! Let’s do it again!” Not everyone is a roller coaster person…but you get where I’m coming from. Even though some life experiences can be down right unenjoyable at times, when you get to the other side, with God’s grace, you have a different view.
These two. Have changed our lives. Our hearts. Our home. I vaguely remember life without them. Nathan & I were married a little over 5 years before we were blessed with them. We enjoyed the kidless life for sure. But we had no idea what we had been missing out on. Joy is how I can best describe it.
To my kids:
I don’t remember a whole lot of detail about the day you were born. All I remember is feelings mostly. Contentment. Wonder. Curiosity. Awe. Joy. God made you both, on loan to us. What a huge concept. He chose you both to come to daddy and I, at the same time. Never forgot that you are our blessings.
Our sweet princess. First born. I must admit I always told people I wanted all boys. Sweet pea I can testify that God knows best. He knew I needed you. I don’t know if you’ll always love frills, pink, ponies, coloring, and baking, but for now, I’m in love with it all. I think the little girl in me started to miss all those things. And now I have a perfectly good excuse to put on a pink princess dress and have tea. You. I love your innocence. And my heart grieves for the day you step out into the world and the innocence begins to chip away. My prayer is you will come running home. That this is your safe place. That you know we will pray for you, love you, listen to you, and point you to Jesus. You have such a soft heart. I love that you are starting to ask questions about Jesus. What an exciting time. And while you sure are fun, and I love that you are my little buddy, not all our times are rainbows and tea parties. You are stubborn. You’re a little bit bossy. And you have held up a mirror to the sin I’ve struggled with for so long- rudeness. Being raised in the church you often become “desensitized” to your sin in a way. One day, not so long ago, I remember you speaking to me in a rude tone for a good part of the morning and I was doing my best to meet your rude attitude with kindness. I was getting angry and asked God, “Why should I have to put up with this?! She’s 2!” He gently answered “This is how you treat you treated Nathan in the early years of marriage, and still do at times. Do you think it’s easy for him to meet your rudeness with kindness?” Sweetheart, thank you for showing me how much a rude attitude can hurt. How it can damage relationships. I pray that the Lord will continue to work in my heart, as He works in yours. You are so precious to us. Happy Birthday.
|Always so glamorous.|
|This was today. She came up to me and said “Look mommy! I drew Ash!”|
Our little man. I was so excited when I found out you were a boy. I couldn’t wait for you to get older and spend time doing “guy stuff” with daddy. I look forward to the days of sports…if that’s your thing. You are all.boy. You love to run, jump, climb, be loud, play with cars, trucks, balls, and tools. I shouldn’t be surprised, your first word after all was “tractor”. Your Boppa (grandpa) Bob says you have “the knack”. Like so many gifted men before you on both sides of your family, you tinker, break, and “fix” things. I love to watch you play. I can almost see the wheels turning as you figure out life and how things work. You’re a quick learner. But there’s another side of you that I think goes unnoticed by most. Your heart is tender. You are concerned about those around you and you love to make people laugh & smile. My heart melts when you say “I wub you mommy. I wike you too!” But my son, along with your tender heart, I’ve seen a heart that easily follows. While this can be good, it can also be dangerous. Watch out son. There are traps, snares, and bad examples everywhere you turn. So many things the world offers looks fun, but this world will pass away, and the things that the world offers do not fill us…only one thing can do that…Jesus. Follow His lead. Follow His example. If you cling to one thing, cling to Him. Friends will let you down. Success is temporary. Jesus does not disappoint. He is eternal. My sweet boy, it is our prayer that you desire to first follow Jesus’ example, and the rest will fall into place. But until you understand those things, keep hanging around your daddy and your Boppas. They are men of honor who serve Jesus. You can hang with me too, because I think you’re a pretty neat kid. You make me laugh too. Thank you for the laughter you bring to our home. Happy birthday.
|Coolest dude I know!|
Nathan & I were definitely shocked when we found out we were having two babies back in March 2010. And I’ve spent a lot of prayer time since then questioning God, asking if He chose the right people for this job, why He did this, and thanking Him for our double blessings. I don’t think He gave us twins for any one reason…I think the reasons are many. And I big one, I believe, is to point us, and our kids to Jesus. We can’t parent without His help.
Our kids His kids are in His hands.
3 years down…many more to come. Bring it on.